Day 2: It's In The Bag

So, day two has come to a close….and was immediately followed by a grueling three hour commute to Philadelphia thanks to an accident on 78 and a massive tractor-trailer accident on the Turnpike that was literally being swept up by brooms (and that was AFTER I stayed at school until 6 to try to wait out any potential rush hour snag-ups).  The cherry on the end of a self-masochism inducing commute was discovering no working internet connection last night while our building is under construction.... Awesome.

Luckily, my actual school day fared much better than the decade spent in my car trying get home to maximize my mini Jewish holiday break. (Thanks for that, Jewish community members!).  First of all, I was quite pleased that my class nailed their morning routine on the first try.  They immediately went over to the lunch station and signed up for their lunches and put their money in the envelope…then they went to the attendance pocket chart, and turned their absentee cards over to reveal the fact that they all were indeed present.  Finally, their belongings were hung on their numbered hooks in an orderly fashion and they returned to their seats and pulled out a book to begin some independent reading.  The stoplight stayed green for a couple minutes as they first came in to allow for some unpreventable (and natural) morning chatter and greetings, but soon went to yellow and red once I felt that it was time to settle down.

The rest of the day went very well!  I finally discussed the classroom store with them (which nearly sent them shooting out of their chairs in excitement.)  They LOVED the Monopoly-style money with my face on it - $1’s, $5’s, $10’s, $20’s, $50’s, and even the elusive $100 bill.  And they pelted me with questions about how to earn the money.  Note to self: In the future, NEVER AGAIN offer an unnecessarily specific example about how it can be earned…..unless you want it picked apart, expanded upon, reanalyzed, hyper-scrutinized and flat-out obsessed over by eighteen super psyched fourth graders.  An off the cuff example I gave about giving a dollar or two to someone who exemplified good character by helping a peer pick up all of the pencils he or she just dropped became “What if we pick up some of the pencils and not all of them?!” …."What if someone drops their books?” ….”What if”…”What if”…”What if” …. “What if Rosh Hashanah could come faster?”, I thought…  Nonetheless, they loved it….And they can’t wait to buy the prizes.  Btw - I also then felt the need to warn them that I will be able to tell in second if someone purposely stages a similar scene in front of me to get my attention and earn a quick buck.  

A big hit were the “Me Bags”.  HUGE THANKS to my cousin for the FANTASTIC idea!!!  On the first day, I pulled out a brown paper bag filled with five things (that HAVE to fit in the bag) that represent me and tell a little something about who I am.  In my bag was a memory card (that symbolized my love of photography), the car token from my Monopoly game (if you know me, my obsession with games is no surprise), a six inch giraffe made out of recycled bicycle parts I bought in Africa (my love of travel and my time teaching abroad), a rock with ripple marks (a geological water feature) I found in Nova Scotia while doing my field study in undergrad, and my iPod (because music is a tremendous part of my life).  They loved it!  The best part was the resulting discussion...the highlight of which came after talking about the schools in Africa, pointing out Tanzania on the globe, and then inviting my adorable Magdalena (*code name for an even COOLER genuine Nigerian name) to point out her family’s country of origin on the other side of Africa...which then prompted a brief discussion on African culture and society.  Success.  

Out went eighteen empty “Me” bags to willing hands, and despite a Friday due date, in came about half the class on the second day ready to share their lives.  Their enthusiasm and willingness to share couldn’t go unnoticed….so I decided a cool idea would be to take a picture of the contents of each bag from each student and put together a “Me” wall (two of which are on the right).  Essentially, we'll have a big wall of "things" that represent the entire make-up of the class!  We'll see similarities and differences, common interests and cultural diversity on display every day! Without a name, all eighteen photos will hang there and the students will get their best chance at identifying their classmates based on the symbolic contents alone…perhaps some D’Angelo dollars as a prize?  The best prize will probably be mine….because with Back To School Night in less than a week, now the parents can come in and try to identify their child by admiring a giant wall of “Me bag” contents….and now, I have one less thing to stress about when I meet 36 curious-and-ready-to-render-a-judgment-on-my-qualifications parents. 

After reading the first chapter of Shiloh to mostly eager ears, I came to the sad realization that after two afternoons in a row of hyper-active children, it only meant I was destined for 178 more…it really is true.  They are COMPLETELY different students after lunch and recess.  Whoa.... Like, whoa. I tried to humor them by doing fun things like finally discussing and assigning all eighteen class jobs using my homemade job chart cards (thanks sis-in-law for the one job per person idea!), but alas, there are few tricks that I know of just yet that can quell the inevitable pre-adolescent physiological effects of: food + recess + restraint + energy + time of day. 

Unfortunately there were two less than perfect moments during my second day teaching.  One came in the wake of Doris’ mega-inappropriate comments yesterday after the first day of school….the other came in the form of a very emotionally disturbed nine year old who I will teach every day for science.  But rather than pour it all into this post, I’ll save it for this evening…. And I’ll call it “Day 3”…even though day three will actually consist of one part sleeping, one part relaxing and eight parts planning for the week ahead….I’m not Jewish, but I will be the first one to VERY enthusiastically offer an emphatic "L'Shanah Tovah Tikatevu!"...Oh, what the heck….”Le'chaim" and "Mazel tov!” too.  

The First Day

Wow...it has come...and gone.  My first day EVER as a teacher is over.  A first day in a new career only happens once in your lifetime....and it's over.  I think if I approached today from that perspective this whole time, I would have been a lot less stressed and a lot more grateful for the rarity of the opportunity that was given to me.  It's kind of like your wedding day - you wait all your whole life for the right person to come along....then you get engaged and commit to an upcoming event that barrels towards you.....you spend a year or two planning for it... and then in a flash, the entire experience is done and over with and you only achieve the proper perspective on the magnitude of the event you just experienced after it's over.   ....Similarly, I waited my whole life to get my head on straight and realize what I wanted to do.  Then I had an epiphany one day and met the right idea for the first time and committed to the pursuance of my first real grown-up career goals.  Finally, after a year and a half of planning, school, and hard work, my first day in the career that I will have for the rest of my life has come and gone.  Two years ago in Rocky Mountain National Park, I was walking with my cousin and my spouse while excitedly lecturing them about the rock formations we were encountering along the way.  While they yawned in exasperation (or politely tried to humor my childish exuberance), I realized right then and there that any more moments I spent NOT being a teacher were being foolishly wasted. 

Today, I am a teacher.

Soaring philosophical emotional speeches aside, today didn't come without its nerves or hiccups.  After an anxious morning out on the lawn meeting parents and taking final "first day photos", scared nine year olds got their final pep-talks and send offs from their moms and dads and walked nervously behind Mr. D to enter into the fourth grade for the very first time.  We walked into my school as equals - None of us knowing what lies ahead.... None us knowing what the fourth grade would be like...none of us knowing what the day would bring.  For that long and very surreal walk into the building, I was a fourth grader right along with them.  Luckily, if I played my cards right, they had no friggin' idea that I was just as clueless as they were.  

 But I'm proud to report there were no giant catastrophes.  In fact, there weren't even minor calamities.....not even near misses.  Just eighteen excited and nervous little fourth graders, some of whom are far more self-possessed than others, all staring wide-eyed at one of the only two new classroom teachers in the whole school.  The room was a giant hit.  The bean bags garnered huge smiles and chatter across the board.  The lava lamp dazzled....the little water fountain amused.....the colors brought cheery smiles and oodles of praise from students thrilled to see color everywhere for the first time.  And thankfully, all of these soon-to-be novelties (tic-toc, tic-toc) helped buffer the monotony and boredom of day one in a new grade with a new teacher.  Procedure and rules...routines and guidelines...and finally, more procedures and more rules.

The day wasn't without learning though - I held my very first read-aloud.  As planned when I designed the room, we turned off the overhead lights for the read-aloud, and turned on our colorful library spotlights while I read them my very favorite childhood book, The Teacher From The Black Lagoon. (Actually - Miss Nelson is Missing shares that distinction).   The book served as a segue to discuss first days in school and favorite books.  They loved it.  They loved the library;  They loved the lights.  One child said - "This is awesome....it's like going to the movies!!".  Success. I told him I couldn't agree more!! I said that reading is exactly like going to the movies...but better yet, it's like a movie you can pause and play whenever you want.  They nodded their heads in overzealous unwaivering support.  God bless childhood naiveté.

Tomorrow I MUST discuss Doris, the "says-WILDLY-inappropriate-comments" fourth grade veteran teacher.  (Because she reminds me of crotchety, SUPER nosy, and unexpectedly lethal Doris Roberts from Everybody Loves Raymond who spent her episodes crossing the line, offending people, and unwittingly pushing everyone's buttons).  Today, Doris' comments took a lightning-fast shift from a now previously innocuous "You may want to use anti-frizz products in your hair, Cady"....to a remarkably offensive and politically incorrect, "I have all the Oriental kids in my class!  I can't tell them apart for the life of me!  I have no idea which one is which - they all look the same".  My jaw dropped.  I unconsciously disguised it with a yawn.   When she made fun of the sound of her hypersensitive p.c. daughter correcting her use of the word "Oriental" with the word "Asian" I found an excuse to leave immediately.  I honestly don't even remember what excuse I gave to leave....I left that room in shock, obsessively replaying the following three sound bites in my head: "oriental", "all the same" and "thank god one of them has a mole on their face!".  Oh.  My.  God.    Thank GOD she's Cady's mentor.  Poor Cady.  Don't feel bad for her - she may be young and stunningly beautiful - but she's tough.  She taught in the Bronx for three years.  She'll cutchya.

Finally, for me, one of the highlights of my day was seeing my new traffic light at work in the classroom.  While shopping for teacher supplies this past weekend, I discovered a paper traffic light system where you hang different colored lights to manage the behavior/activities in the classroom.  I loved the idea - but paper was boring - and will NOT be enough to captivate fourth graders.  I thought in the middle of the store..."I can do this....but I can do this better." Out I went to Home Depot, and with some cheap wood, large coffee cans, yellow paint and old spotlights painted red, yellow and green, I created (with my Dad's help of course) a working stop light that I will use to regulate the flow and management of my room. (I call this "teacher ADD" - When I should have been writing lesson plans, I became obsessed with completing a brand new project at the 11th hour.) 

They LOVED it.  And thanks to a handy dandy three-way remote control and receiver set (thank you two-year-old Christmas decorations), I can carry a small remote in my pocket and switch from red to green to yellow to red as needed.  They're already responding well to it.  Give me a month and I hopefully won't have to say a word - they'll see the red light and just know it's time to be sitting quietly and listening.  Or they'll see the green light and know it's time to start sharing with their partners or heading over the rug.  When it's yellow, they have a minute to wrap up their final thoughts or write their final ideas down.... before it's back to red again.    I knew it would eventually be successful when midway through the day, one of the kids noticed the light change to yellow without me saying anything and turned to all of his peers and said "Shh! Guys!! It's turning to yellow!  Finish up!!"


They were listening.  They were following.  They were learning.  They were having fun.  They were my students.  

Today, I was a teacher. 

  

Turtle Primary

Ok all - Here's the deal!

After some thinking, I realized it would be best if the class chose the actual name/names of the turtle(s).  BUT - That doesn't mean I'm counting you out!  So, I changed my plans and I thought of the perfect way to incorporate both my faithful readers and my eighteen excited students:

You will all nominate the official list of names from which the class will vote!  

So, here's how this will go:  On the right you'll see virtually every name submitted to me via facebook and the blog - in addition to several of my own picks (45 some odd names in total!).  As you will see, there are some really creative names in the bunch - some of which in particular will work perfectly if we get two turtles...or a specific species of turtle.... or act as perfect "interdisciplinary" names..... It is your job to whittle that list down to the TOP TEN BEST NAMES....  i.e. a turtle "primary" of sorts.  In essence, you will be choosing the turtle candidates going up in the turtle general election....and good news - none of these names have been endorsed by The Crazy Tea Party.   Knock yourself out and choose more than one - you're allowed to choose as many favorites as you want!  When voting closes one week from tonight, the ten highest vote getters will produce a nice concise list to present to my eager students.  They will then each choose their two favorite names from your list of ten, and after the final votes are tallied, you will all be formally introduced to our new class pet together on Monday, September 13th.

Let the voting commence.

Worst. Top. Ten. List. Ever.

I can not possibly put into words how overwhelmed I feel right now.... but I will try with this handy dandy list of THE TOP TEN actual and/or potential reasons why:

1.  I had to move my entire house before the new renter moved in yesterday - all the while trying to set-up my classroom, write lesson plans and prepare logistics for the first week of school. I can't TELL you how many days this week I was up till 4am making trips to the storage unit....or sitting alone on my floor packing bins of crap up.... or packing my car with more things going up to my classroom.  Then, after a couple hours of sleep, I'm up, showered and dressed, driving up the parkway by 6, 7, or 8am to spend a day setting up and organizing my room in time for the first day of school.  At 4pm, I leave my classroom, sit for an hour in traffic, come back to my house, and the vicious cycle repeats all over again.  If it weren't for Dunkin Donuts Large Iced Mocha Latte Lites with an EXTRA turbo shot of espresso, I wouldn't be here today writing this blogpost.  Yes, I gussied the room up weeks ago....but that was before I emptied out my house and brought MORE bins of supplies and decorations in...and that was before the district dumped boxes of new and old books in my room....and before I realized I better decorate my walls with posters that have positive messages about diversity or character... and hang up "jobs" charts and calendars....  Or, in this case, a dartboard with my potential fire dates on it that I can take a shot at when the shit hits the fan in three days.    

2.  Because I had to get everything out of my house, planning for the first day of school sadly HAD to be put off.  So, yes - I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING PLANNED.  NOTHING. No lesson plans... for all five subjects.  I have a lot of ideas... sometimes, so many at once that it overwhelms me because I don't know where to begin..... So, I need to spend these next three days "off" getting them all out of my head, organized and down onto paper.  No worries... it can be done.  And it will get done.

3.  I've recently discovered for the first time in my life that when my body is put under an extreme amount of stress, it breaks out into itchy hives..... that DON'T go away.  How exciting.  Hives.  I feel like a leper.  And what's worse, is that seeing all of these hives produces more anxiety because they're not going away... and they're becoming more visible....which in turn, produces more hives.  Yet another repetitious vicious cycle.   

4.  I still have yet to work out what my schedule will be with my students (i.e. which periods I'm teaching which subjects).  Some class periods are decided for me due to in-class support/pull-out support for my students with special needs (I will have four children with high functioning autism).  But the others I can play around with a bit.  I also have yet to really look into the background information for each of my 18 fourth graders - so while other teachers have already made their name tags, and hung personalized job lists and birthday announcements all around their room, I have being doing number 1 on this list.

5.  My classroom library is in complete upheaval.  NONE of my books are in any discernible order.  Worse yet, NONE of them are leveled (the new thing to do with classroom libraries is to level all of the books with an A-Z system so that students stick to "just right books" and read at their level, only advancing to the next letter after mastering their current one.)  I'm hoping the shiny things I've placed around the library (lava lamp, mini fountain, cool gemstone globe, pictures of animals) will distract people long enough to buy me some time to get my leveling done by the start of the first full week of school on the 13th. 

6. See: numbers 1-5.

7.  I met the adorable daughter (who LOVED my room!) of the PTA president that I will affectionately call "Mrs. Obama".  In related news, I met Mrs. Obama.  She was very kind....but the first thing I did was correct her claim that her daughter was in my class and tell her to her face that I'd only have her for science.  I was wrong.  Flop sweat.  Nervous laughter.  She corrected me.  PTA: 1 - Me: 0    I'm sure I made a fabulous first impression.  Here's to hoping the excitement generated by my room from both her and her daughter will compensate for my brazen "I'M-A BRAND-NEW-TEACHER-AND-HAVE-NO-IDEA-WHAT-I'M-DOING-FAUX-PAS".  She then reminded me that the class lists went out to all of the parents last week and since then they've all been feverishly firing back emails to each other about whose kid is in whose class....and with not one, but TWO new fourth grade teachers (Cady and myself), it's BIG news this year who got who.  Note to self:  LOOK AT MY CLASS LIST.  You know...for the first time.

8.  I found out that not only will I have Sasha and Malia in my class, but I will also have one of the Bush twins, Chelsea Clinton, AND Susan Ford Bales.  That's right - I also have the children of THREE former PTA presidents.    This can either go VERY well for me - or VERY badly.  Don't ask me today how I think it will go - ask me in October. 

9.  Back to school night is in ten days.  Enough said.

10.  The air conditioner broke in my classroom. So while I was loading in heavy bin after heavy bin, and moving stacks of books that The Rock would have struggled with in oppressive 90 degree heat, every other teacher was glad they brought in their shawls because their rooms get so cold so quickly.  The "says-randomly-inappropriate-comments" veteran fourth grade teacher (who I CAN'T wait to tell you more about), happily reminded me that she needn't worry about how cold it gets, because once the rooms fill with kids, they get MUCH warmer.  Thanks for that.  *I NEED to think of a good name for her - it will take time.  You'll understand why later.  Let's just put it this way - I recently found out that when Clarissa nonchalantly asked me during my initial interview how I would handle working with a negative teacher in the school,  it was a very calculated and intentional question... and not just a routine, quota-filling standard interview tester.   

One more reason why this is the worst top ten list ever, is because there aren't ten things.  There are eleven.  I told you it was bad.

11.  Turtle won.  After nearly 60 votes, slow and steady did in fact win the race.  Don't get me wrong - I'm excited....a turtle will be a very cool pet for fourth graders.  And thanks to a surprisingly invested and rousing pet debate via intelligent facebook commentators, I now have a ton of ideas about how to integrate any class pet into a menagerie of interdisciplinary lessons (thanks for that guys!).  So why is it bad!?  I have NO IDEA how to own and/or take care of a turtle.  Given the time constraints, I may not be able to go out this weekend and sit through an impromptu lesson on the care of turtles by some semi-knowledgeable-I-don't-give-a-shit-high-school-pet-store-worker...but rest assured, I will have turtle in hand by the 13th.   That being said, thanks to google, and the fact that the turtle has maintained a steady lead for quite some time now,  I did some preliminary research a couple weeks ago....I think I know which one to get... but I'll keep you abreast of all the updates.  And yes, WE HAVE ONE WEEK TOGETHER TO COME UP WITH A NAME.  I will post a new poll ASAP featuring potential names.  You will be allowed to make one choice.....Make it a good one!  (You can change it if you change your mind, but unlike the last poll, you will not be able to choose your top few choices.)  Feel free to comment on this post and leave name suggestions...I'll gather up the best and my own and put together a list from which to vote!

Clarissa Explains It All

So, now that training is complete and the flattering embarrassment of the luncheon has come to a close, I can finally fill you in on what happened at the end of the day when I went back to my own school and conferenced with my principal.  *Sidebar:  I've also realized that I'm going to be referencing these people A LOT in the coming year, so I best be coming up with some creative pseudonyms for my main characters (to maintain professional and public anonymity).  Therefore, my principal will hereby be affectionately be referred to as "Clarissa" for the duration of this blog.  Why "Clarissa"?   Because it's kind of funny...and because I was a child of the 80's & 90's - and I fully expect this Clarissa to "explain it all".  You got that, Melissa Joan?  This is probably your first official shout out in a decade....  be excited.

So, my meeting with Clarissa consisted of two very memorable moments (among an entire hour-long conversation about what the be prepared for on the first days and weeks of the new school year).  The first of which came when she went through my class list with me.  First of all, I'm thrilled about the number - 18!!  The fact that I'm under 20...or even 30 given the state of things...is both welcome and remarkable.  But the real excitement came as she perused through the list and began to provide American-Idol style back-stories on each student.  All of the sudden, she says, "Oh.... his mom is on the PTA board."  "Oh, crap!" I said aloud.  She of course, reassured me that it would be fine.... that even though this uber-rich community has a parental force to be reckoned with, their support of our teachers is PARAMOUNT.   I shouldn't be so worried...After all, in this artist's rendition of them, they appear to be the gosh-darn sweetest batch of parents in the world. 

But seriously, I needn't worry - every piece of evidence I could find has proven our parents to be tremendously supportive of public education and our teachers (see: exhibit A {artist's rendition above} ). They move heaven and earth to make sure their children are getting the best possible opportunities in our school district.  Why then, is it so intimidating?  Maybe because they move heaven and earth to make sure their children are getting the best possible opportunities in our school district.  And as one of two new classroom teachers in the entire school, Clarissa has already told me there is a lot of small-town chatter about who the new 4th grade teachers are.  She confessed - that all eyes are indeed upon us.

So, after I finally got over the fear of having a child of a parent on the PTA board in my classroom, we kept on moving down the list of students.... as her finger passed over the names, I heard things like "She's a doll".... "He's such a good student"...."She's very low, but she loves writing" ..."He's got some behavioral issues".  Finally, and rather unexpectedly, she came to a name and paused (and kind of winced).   

"What?!" I said nervously.   

"Oh...", she groaned.  

I looked at her with growing panic and said, "What!? ... GOOD 'oh'?  BAD 'oh'?  WHAT?!"  .... Finally, after a small pause, she said,

 "Her parent is the president of the PTA Board." 

Oh. My. God.  "Are you kidding me?!", I blurted out in disbelief.   Clarissa very nonchalantly just said, "You'll be fine!... They'll love you.".  To be honest, I was so freaked out by having Sasha and Malia in my classroom that I forgot what name she even pointed to.  Boy?  Girl?  First name?!  Last name!? I have no idea!?  So, now there are basically covert CIA PTA undercover ops in my classroom.  Malia incognito. Sasha in disguise. Visions of those goofy Groucho black glasses with the fake eyebrows and big noses floated around in my paranoid head and blurred my eyesight. Goodie. Big brother is watching. 

Thankfully, Clarissa was able to distract my fear with the second memorable moment of the conversation by putting me in stitches (the figurative kind).  While reassuring me and my fellow other 4th grade new hire (who I'll now call "Cady" because she too has been to Africa, and "Cady Heron" in the movie Mean Girls, had lived in Africa as a child....and because I love the movie Mean Girls.... and because this Cady and that Cady are both very pretty....) anyway... Where was I?  Oh, right - Clarissa was addressing Cady and I....  Anyway, Clarissa was telling us NOT to worry about being observed the three mandatory times during our first year.  In all of her awesomeness, she very jovially told us that she is here to help us, support us and teach us - not frighten us and tear us down.  

She punctuated her sentiment with a fantastic story about the very first time she was observed as a new second grade teacher.  She said she had a terribly cruel principal who ruled the school like a totalitarian.  She said she would shake with fear before she entered this woman's office.  In part, she said that's what inspired her to become a principal herself - because she knew there had to be a better way to rule a school.... that you could in fact be a kind, generous, incredibly warm and helpful principal (which Clarissa COMPLETELY is!).  

So, she said on the day of her observation, she was incredibly nervous.  She was calling all the students by her favorite two pet names during the entirety of her super energetic, scatterbrained, and panicked lesson.  She would call out encouragingly, "Great job, peanut!!"  ...and "Fantastic, sweetpea!!"  She kept on switching back and forth between the two as her nerves and energy grew ... "You're right, sweetpea!!"  .."Stellar answer, peanut!"  ..."Sweetpea!!"..."Peanut"..."PEANUT, SWEETPEA!"  ... Before ultimately during a regrettable moment of mixed-up confusion BLURTING out, 

"Way to go, PENIS!".

  

As I'm writing this now, I'm laughing again. In fact, I laughed so hard at the time in her office, I cried.  We were practically crying together...but not the Extreme Home Makeover kind of cry....the MXC Extreme Elimination Challenge college roommate cry. 

I screamed, "What happened?!"  

She said, "The kids FROZE!"  They F.R.O.Z.E in underage shock and horror.  They each had that "Oh my god, the grown up in charge just said a bad word" stunned look on their face.  

Then I said, "Well, what did you do!?!" .  

She said, "Oh my god.  I lost all control, and I just doubled over and began hysterically laughing in the middle of the lesson.  I simply couldn't compose myself to finish"  

We cried some more.  

She said her totalitarian principal simply walked out of the room right then and there.

So yes, I finally agreed with her - NOTHING can be that bad.  She had renewed my faith to no longer worry about my upcoming observation at the end of the month.... or for that matter, the fact that I have the First kids in my classroom.  Thank god for Clarissa.  Hey - look at that, she really did explain it all.

The Big Finish

Training Day Four: The final day (Part 1).....and it definitely went out on an incredibly embarrassing  high note.   This is kind of a longer post - but I'm hoping the hilarity of the story is worth it!

The day started off at our own individual schools (instead of the high school.... pictures to come), where we talked about the physical logistics of actually setting up your classroom for Writer's & Reader's Workshop (leveling your library, organizing it properly for efficient usage, setting up procedures and systems so that there isn't a 20-student pile up when they go to get their Writer's notebook, etc.).   But the real fun came when I found out in front of all of my fellow elementary school new hires that my principal had taken several school administrators on a tour of my room without my knowledge.  So, my skin turned into a shade of redness I didn't know I could achieve when our district literacy coach looked at me and said outloud to my principal in a jovial manner "He's MINE!!".  To which my AMAZING principal (I *LOVE* her!) jokingly said in return "No! He's Mine!" ...which then prompted an open discussion about what I had done to my room, which my fellow new fourth grade Africa traveler joined because she had seen it last week and loved it.  I anxiously dove face first into my Dunkin' Donuts Mocha Coolatta (with skim milk of course) and hoped we could just move on to the minutia of which book is a level 'P' and which is a level 'O'.  Little did I know, the embarrassment would reach epic proportions just a few hours from that.

What was absolutely amazing, is that during a break at my school, we went out back to check out the student-run gardens.... and they were stunning.  A butterfly garden (yes, teeming with butterflies), a vegetable garden (pumpkins progressing heartily), and a salad garden run by the fourth graders which supplies the ingredients for our big spring community "salad party" where parents join the teachers and students to enjoy the fresh lettuce, carrots and onions that were harvested.  But the pièce de résistance was the outdoor reader's theater mini-amphitheater.  I promise I will bring my camera next time now that I know it's there.  It's adorable.  It's a well manicured and landscaped little area with beautiful little benches and a concrete stage, surrounded by one of those little architectural walls designed to focus the sound forward.  Unbelievable....what money, parent volunteerism and a love of public education can do.

All of the new hires united for our final lunch at the beautiful historic hotel downtown where we were hosted by the local chamber of commerce (which, you guessed it - FIRMLY supports our public schools). We were joined by several administrators, including, the head honcho himself, our quietly  intimidating superintendent.  We dined in the beautiful front atrium room (which thanks to photoshop, is highlighted in the photo), and enjoyed a chicken francaise lunch which sadly did not live up to the stunning facade of the building.  Happy to be reunited with my new friends, we were looking forward to gossiping about our experiences thus far when.... Mr. Superintendent himself looks at me, grabs the chair next to me and says "Is this taken?".  "Nope!" I say with feigned ease.  "Join us!" I say with more mustered up courage and excitement.  Awkward silence....  crickets...   ... more crickets....  "This salad is delicious!" I say as I die a little with each passing moment of silence.  

Apropos of nothing, he suddenly says in his short-and-sweet-I-can't-tell-if-you-love-me-or-hate-me-style,  "Ken took me on a tour of your room today."  (Ken is the amazing head of HR).  More silence.  Trying desperately to gauge his reaction...or at the very least, anticipate his next minimal conversational contribution, I said "Oh! Wonderful!".  I didn't want to speak too much because I'm hyper as it is, and babble way too much on a regular basis....often incoherently....ESPECIALLY when I'm really nervous...like flop sweat nervous.  You know the feeling... three words: sudden back sweat (ew).  So, I was hoping he would just offer up the next piece of dialogue.  ....Not to mention, my already embarrassing experience with him.... You see, when I first interviewed with him, (at a SUDDEN impromptu interview, no less) I talked VERY excitedly about education and my abilities.  I said I was "very energetic and ready to bring my enthusiasm into the classroom."  He just looked at me and said in a very 'holy-crap-chill-the-eff-out-manner', "Yeah - I can tell you have a lot of energy."  Burn.  I can't remember the last time I dialed it down so quickly.  

So, anyway, here we are, back at our table...and yes, I'm STILL waiting for his reaction to not only HIS bringing up of the fact that he saw my room, but MY conversation prompt of "Oh! Wonderful!".  ...Finally, I cave....with very controlled energy,  I said "Well, what did you think?  I hope it wasn't too loud...I tried to make it really inviting and kid friendly...and yet colorful at the same time ...and...." Oh crap... it was happening again.  Nervous word vomit.  I think I just stopped somewhere in the middle of the word "engaging" while awkwardly smiling.  It was so nerve-wrecking because Ken and my principal had previously raved to me about how wonderful it looks....so I knew I had administrative support for my creativity.  But, obviously, the buck stopped with him.  Finally....FINALLY...after more awkward silence, he offers up a simple.. "It was nice."  Done.  SOLD!  I'll take it.  If you'll excuse me, I need to go throw up that delicious salad now....or at the very least, swallow it back down. 

It was wonderful realizing after that exchange, that the majority of lunch still had to play out in all of its glorious vomit-inducing uncertainty.  Luckily, my awesome fellow fourth grade new hire and I started up a conversation about Africa to which he was happy to contribute (he and his wife went all over the south of Africa for two weeks in the 70's). Little did I know the real embarrassment was just minutes away.  After the president of the local chamber of commerce bragged about the school system and how each of her three kids went through our schools (one went to Georgetown undergrad and now Harvard Law, one is now in South America in the Peace Corps and the other is...I forgot...who knows...probably organizing another international Global Warming summit in Vienna somewhere)....she gave away prizes from local business via raffle.  And they were random (including mini-harmonicas from a local music store).  

But the "grand prize" was a 1/2 hour full body massage... Drawn from the bag of names, somehow my HR director pulled MINE just as my stomach was finally regaining control over all of the food it had just eaten.  I've never had a full body massage - but I've secretly always wanted one.  Happy (but slightly embarrassed because of the stigma attached to women vs. men getting massages), I quickly grabbed my envelope out of his hands and sat right back down. (Thankfully, he was right next to me, so the walk of fame....shame...wasn't too far.)  Ecstatic that any imaginable future embarrassment MUST be over with, I sit back down and regain my composure. AND THEN, he opens his mouth. In front of the entire luncheon, he says "You know, if anyone deserves this massage, it's him!  Has anyone seen his room!?  Do you know what he did?"  He proceeds to tell the entire story... "He came to his principal and asked if he could paint.  Teachers ask all the time if they could paint...but they usually just paint the moldings...or the trim.... This guy painted the ENTIRE ROOM.  Floor to ceiling.  You really gotta get over to his school and see it.  It looks incredible."  After which, the happy murmurs begin amongst the attendees... I hear a combination of " Wow's " and " I didn't know you could do that's "  ...and "I wanna see it!". 

I longed for the time when the worst of my embarrassment came this morning where I was able to retreat into my DD Coolatta.  I felt the food coming up again.  This time, it was Francaise and not salad.  And FLOP SWEAT!?  Let's just say I had to wipe my brow with my cloth napkin while disguising it to make it look like I accidentally brushed my napkin against my face as I leaned over to "grab something" on the ground.  

Flattered?  Yes.  Secretly thrilled to find out people I respected (and worked for) loved the final product?  Absolutely.  Wishing my body was incapable of producing sweat?  Ummmmmm...whattayou think?  I dialed J.K. Rowling right then and there to ask if I could borrow Harry's invisibility cloak.

So many more stories from yesterday - including more embarrassment and more hilarity.  Except this time, not entirely at my expense.  But I gotta call it quits... this post has reached War And Peace magnitude.  

Sense of Belonging

Training Day Three:  The never-ending flow of information continues....the never ending parade of smiling faces continues....the never ending outpouring of positive energy and savvy advice continues.

It was a rather revolutionary day for me - for one main reason....but I'll save that for last.  

Today, the three big workshops were one on technology, one on becoming acclimated with the electronic database that our school system uses for grades, attendance, email, calendars, and networking, and a very powerful one on inclusion (including all students no matter what their special needs are in the regular ed classroom).

Lunch was provided by our local union while we filled out our state education association forms to join both the state and local chapters - which is pretty damn important right now in my state considering the disturbingly radical and unfairly unilateral decisions being forced through our state capital regarding public education funding.  Am I looking forward to losing a grand out of my paycheck over the course of the year?  No.  Is it worth the amazing work they do to protect our rights, fight injustices, and run conventions and workshops for us (among a million other things)?  Absolutely.

Once that paperwork was out of the way, we spent the afternoon learning about the extraordinary commitment our district has to integrating technology into EVERYTHING.  We have a middle school social studies teacher who after a successful grant, has eliminated textbooks and replaced them with iPod touches that the kids use to create their own textbooks over the course of the year.  We have elementary school teachers who produce adorable newscasts with their students (watch your back, CNN).  And we have high school teachers that use history and science classes as an opportunity to produce web videos featuring music, pictures, video clips and voice-over commentary to produce informative presentations on things like space exploration, prohibition (above), and the history of dance.  

Blogs - wikis - glogs - podcasts - youtube - smartboards - skype - twitter - flipvideo cameras - iPods - digital cameras.... they're ALL used by almost every teacher. They firmly believe (as do I) that you're working against the grain if you hold tight to your 20th century upbringing - and to describe their efforts as a "big push" to move forward into the 21st century is an understatement.   It's both really exciting and a tad intimidating to know that they expect you to embrace uber-creative ways to use technology in the classroom.  Perhaps, part of my fears lie in the fact that the entire district uses iMacs - in our computer labs, in our classrooms, in our libraries....everywhere!  Seeing as I've been a PC person my whole life, (though I've been dying to make the change to a Mac since last year), this means that in addition to learning how to integrate brandy new "webby" things like glogs & wikis,  I have to also learn how to use a computer again. 

But the real take-away from today came in the form of an unexpected epiphany that hit me like a ton of bricks.  During the morning, we watched a video called "Including Samuel".    It was a powerful documentary about a beautiful little boy named Samuel who happens to have a rather severe case of cerebral palsy.  His story is remarkable...his family is remarkable...his teachers are remarkable.... HE is remarkable.  But the real epiphany came after the lights came up, and our HR director spoke to us about what we had just seen.  

As a new teacher, the thing that has intimidated me the most has been inclusion.  Not because I don't believe in it, but because I'm nervous I will be inadequate at differentiating instruction and adapting the material for severe special needs learners, and therefore consequently fail to bring each student (including all of the other students) to their fullest potential.  Because of these fears, I've questioned whether or not it is possible to succeed with every student.  Because of these fears, I've questioned whether or not there are in fact, some cases where the special needs that students have are so severe, it might not be in their best interest to be in a gen ed classroom - perhaps here, they would be most successful in a classroom or school that deliberately specializes in special needs education.  

But then we watched that video... then we analyzed it from a civil rights perspective... then we talked about "separate but equal".... then we talked about the feeling of belonging and being included.  And let me tell you something - boy, do I know a little something about civil rights, "separate but equal", and the feeling of being included.  So, when our passionate HR director took a quiet moment to gather his thoughts and emotions in order to utter his concluding remarks before lunch, I was listening with my head and my heart - and what he said will stay with me forever.  "Inclusion is about one thing:  Belonging.  If you as a teacher don't BELIEVE in your heart that these children BELONG in your classroom, then you probably shouldn't be in public education.  You need to BELIEVE that they BELONG....that they deserve to be in your classroom along with all of your other students.  THAT is what inclusion is all about.  Believing that they belong."

Suddenly, all of the fears, doubts, concerns, and anxieties I had about my own abilities regarding the accommodation of special needs learners in my classroom simply vanished.  Even though I had already believed in inclusion, my entire perspective on its purpose has changed forever.

They belong...end of story.