Training Day Four: The final day (Part 1).....and it definitely went out on an incredibly embarrassing high note. This is kind of a longer post - but I'm hoping the hilarity of the story is worth it!
What was absolutely amazing, is that during a break at my school, we went out back to check out the student-run gardens.... and they were stunning. A butterfly garden (yes, teeming with butterflies), a vegetable garden (pumpkins progressing heartily), and a salad garden run by the fourth graders which supplies the ingredients for our big spring community "salad party" where parents join the teachers and students to enjoy the fresh lettuce, carrots and onions that were harvested. But the pièce de résistance was the outdoor reader's theater mini-amphitheater. I promise I will bring my camera next time now that I know it's there. It's adorable. It's a well manicured and landscaped little area with beautiful little benches and a concrete stage, surrounded by one of those little architectural walls designed to focus the sound forward. Unbelievable....what money, parent volunteerism and a love of public education can do.All of the new hires united for our final lunch at the beautiful historic hotel downtown where we were hosted by the local chamber of commerce (which, you guessed it - FIRMLY supports our public schools). We were joined by several administrators, including, the head honcho himself, our quietly intimidating superintendent. We dined in the beautiful front atrium room (which thanks to photoshop, is highlighted in the photo), and enjoyed a chicken francaise lunch which sadly did not live up to the stunning facade of the building. Happy to be reunited with my new friends, we were looking forward to gossiping about our experiences thus far when.... Mr. Superintendent himself looks at me, grabs the chair next to me and says "Is this taken?". "Nope!" I say with feigned ease. "Join us!" I say with more mustered up courage and excitement. Awkward silence.... crickets... ... more crickets.... "This salad is delicious!" I say as I die a little with each passing moment of silence.
But the "grand prize" was a 1/2 hour full body massage... Drawn from the bag of names, somehow my HR director pulled MINE just as my stomach was finally regaining control over all of the food it had just eaten. I've never had a full body massage - but I've secretly always wanted one. Happy (but slightly embarrassed because of the stigma attached to women vs. men getting massages), I quickly grabbed my envelope out of his hands and sat right back down. (Thankfully, he was right next to me, so the walk of fame....shame...wasn't too far.) Ecstatic that any imaginable future embarrassment MUST be over with, I sit back down and regain my composure. AND THEN, he opens his mouth. In front of the entire luncheon, he says "You know, if anyone deserves this massage, it's him! Has anyone seen his room!? Do you know what he did?" He proceeds to tell the entire story... "He came to his principal and asked if he could paint. Teachers ask all the time if they could paint...but they usually just paint the moldings...or the trim.... This guy painted the ENTIRE ROOM. Floor to ceiling. You really gotta get over to his school and see it. It looks incredible." After which, the happy murmurs begin amongst the attendees... I hear a combination of " Wow's " and " I didn't know you could do that's " ...and "I wanna see it!".
I longed for the time when the worst of my embarrassment came this morning where I was able to retreat into my DD Coolatta. I felt the food coming up again. This time, it was Francaise and not salad. And FLOP SWEAT!? Let's just say I had to wipe my brow with my cloth napkin while disguising it to make it look like I accidentally brushed my napkin against my face as I leaned over to "grab something" on the ground. Flattered? Yes. Secretly thrilled to find out people I respected (and worked for) loved the final product? Absolutely. Wishing my body was incapable of producing sweat? Ummmmmm...whattayou think? I dialed J.K. Rowling right then and there to ask if I could borrow Harry's invisibility cloak.
So many more stories from yesterday - including more embarrassment and more hilarity. Except this time, not entirely at my expense. But I gotta call it quits... this post has reached War And Peace magnitude.


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